I was listening to a CD in my car the other day and "Temecula Sunrise" by Dirty Projectors started playing. As the intro was ending and right before the guy started singing, I asked aloud, "Hey dude, where do you live?" And then the lyrics kicked in with, "I live in a new construction home." I do this a lot when I'm in a car by myself, and less often when people are in the car with me. Then I got to thinking...there must be SOMEONE out there who entertains themselves by asking a question that's answered by the first lyric of the song they're listening to. Right? Guys...?
Anyway, I decided to make a list of slightly odd things that I do that I've been wondering if anyone else does.
-If I'm peeing in a regular toilet and I know someone is within earshot, I pee against the inner wall of the toilet as opposed to the pool of water at the bottom. I don't like people hearing me pee.
-I curse the accomplishments of anyone younger than me.
-When I see a sex scene on a TV show or in a movie I like to make comments that make it seem like I think the actors are really copulating ("fucking" in layman's terms). For example: I saw The 40-Year Old Virgin recently and when Andy finally bangs his new wife at the end I said "I think I see penetration."
-I don't like talking on the phone in front of other people. To that end, I almost never have phone conversations in public or while in a car with other passengers.
-I sing the Happy Birthday song twice to myself when I wash my hands in public*. I saw it in a commercial and apparently it makes sure that you're washing your hands for an adequate amount of time.
*I only do it in public because I like giving off a weirdo vibe.
-I like to play a game in hospitals or hotels called "Is it mounted?" Basically, the game is me going up to paintings in lobbies, rooms, or hallways, grabbing them on both sides, and shifting them left and right to see if they're mounted to the wall. (sidenote: I've only once encountered a painting that wasn't mounted; it was in a room at the MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Tacky, tacky.)
So that's me. Feel free to leave anything weird that you do in the comments section.
This has nothing to do with anything: I miss the old Simpsons.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
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HOLY SHIT i need to break this down.
ReplyDeletedo you still ask that question every time that song comes on now?
honestly i go straight for the bottom and make that shit as obnoxiously loud as possible. i want to make people wonder how bad i had to go or how much i had to drink
i'm such a hater on anyone younger than me who is a super successful. so i agree with you there BIE-BERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!
it would be more awkward/funny/scary if you said that during kids shows, or possibly doctor shows. grey's anatomy could be good
is this public phone-phobia after watching the wire?
is the mgm grand the tackiest place thus far?
i'll try and think of something
and last but certainly not least
Re: the old simpsons - i think that clip proves that the simpsons first came up with a good season's worth of material for the wire. and was that boy a young conan o'brien?!?!?!? mcgarnacle is such a great cop/detective name
I don't ask it every time. I'd say 20% of the time. That's about as often as I feel talkative in the car by myself.
ReplyDeleteFuck Justin Bieber, and his passable for a lay, if he was a girl face.
I've had the phone phobia for years, but The Wire has taken it to ridiculous new levels.
I've been in much tackier hotels, but MGM is the only one that didn't care about people stealing their art.
Or wait...maybe MGM is super high class and those painting were complimentary? Hmmm....I may be on to something.
And I didn't notice before, but that kid is a straight up young Coco Christopher. At least he was murdered instead of being branded a snitch for the rest of his life.