Blog Classics: The Greatness that is CHEATERS

I recently came to the conclusion that I am my biggest fan. I imagine that no one has read or liked the stuff I've written more than I do.  So with that, I'm starting a regular feature that showcases what I believe to be my greatest works.  Welcome to blog classics.


First up: a blog I wrote for my now defunct livejournal.  My livejournal was my first foray into internet blogging and as such I fell into a few of the pitfalls that other shitty bloggers fall into.  I'd post a lot about my weekends, even if nothing noteworthy had happened.  My grammar was pretty bad.  And I'd post more inside jokes than I would now. (sidenote: I hate when people post status updates that don't make sense, then write "insider" at the end.  Why the fuck would you even post it for everyone to read then?)  Below is the link to my old livejournal.  If you decide you want to leave a comment there, don't because I'll probably never see it.

http://hityourkids.livejournal.com/

Anyways, this blog entry is about my love for the show Cheaters.  A love that has waned over the years, but still burns somewhere deep inside me.

Originally published: March 9th, 2004

Current mood:	good
Current music:	Maroon 5 - This Love

The Greatness that is CHEATERS

I'm at my computer right now and  Elimidate is on in the background.  I don't really like this show, but the dude dating all the chicks just said something that made me laugh.  So here it goes:

"Cecily just told me that she broke up with her last boyfriend because he slept with her mom.  And that got me thinkin', "What's yo Mom look like?"

Now I'm no Elimidate expert, but that let me know immediately that Cecily was gone.  I mean, once a guy is thinking about your mom, it's pretty much over. Fountains of Wayne taught me that lesson.  So after the commercial, Michael makes his first elimination and Sho' Nuff it's Cecily.

Anyway, this show is fun if you want to see girls ranging from "eww" to "kinda hot" act like slutty bitches or if you want to see guys (usually a bunch of nerdy guys, but at least one jock) act like overconfident assholes. But sadly, that isn't my type of show.


So that show got me thinking about what, in my opinion, is the GREATEST syndicated reality show.  That shows name is Cheaters.
 
In this show, a man or woman allows a camera crew to follow around their significant other for a week to see if they're cheating.  What's great about this show is that the person HAS to be cheating because it's the title of the show.  If they weren't cheating, the show would  be called Faithful Couples and it would be canceled 20 minutes into the first episode. 
So anyway, after the week is over, the host goes back to the dude (or lady) being cheated on and shows him the evidence gathered on a portable video camera.  Then the show sets up a confrontation.

The first great thing about the confrontation:

It's always in public. 
So the cheating girlfriend could be at a supermarket, a bar, the Gap, it doesn't matter, because she's 'bouts to be confronted.  The confrontation then goes down and it always starts with either "Who's this?" or "I thought you loved me?"  The confrontation then begins to either flare up (yay) or calm down (boo, turn the channel). 
If it begins to calm down, don't worry, there's our savior.  That brings us to the second great thing about the confrontation:

The Host begins to HELLA INSTIGATE. 
He starts saying things he got from the evidence collection phase like "I thought you said you loved him.  If you really loved him, why would you tell him you have to work late when you really went to the park to have sex with him (points to dude she was cheating with)" or "How could you do this, he's at home with your kids while you're out with him."  At that point the boring confrontation becomes the heated confrontation, which is great.

There are a few times when the confrontation isn't in public, but those confrontations usually happen while the cheater is having sex.  One time, the cameras popped into an apartment and the cheating girlfriend was handcuffed to her bed and a dude in clown makeup was banging her and clown music was playing on their stereo.  The clown immediately fled and the confrontation started.  3 minutes into the confrontation a chick in panties and an orange highway cleanup crew vest busts out of the closet followed by a dude in his boxers and a knights helmet.  They also immediately flee, wearing nothing but what I've described.  BEST EPISODE EVER!!!

Thanks to the drama and the wackiness of the show the show gets a 4 star rating from me.  You should watch it

That's It
Isaiah