The New Thing: Chubby Checker

I'm about to let you in on The New Thing going around that's about to sweep the nation.*  You're going to want to get in on this on the ground floor, because if you start doing this once it goes mainstream, you're going to be so streets behind in the eyes of everyone.  Even your pastor.


The New Thing (#1): Chubby Checker
So say you're at a party/dance club/bar with a jukebox and you feel like dancing, but you don't know the song playing and you don't know what dance you should do.  WHAT DO YOU DO!  Well, calm down, I'll tell you.  As soon as a new song that you've never heard before starts playing, shout out, "Oh shit! Is this that new Chubby Checker!?!" and start doing the Twist. And I promise you, soon thereafter, you'll be getting the finest girl in the room pregnant.  You're welcome.

(Note: For this to have its full effect you must be earnest in your Twisting, and you must smile like you're in the early 60s dancing with your best gal, before the hippies ruined America.)


*This is not going around and will not be sweeping the nation


This has nothing to do with anything: No racist, but whenever I click a Twitter trending topic I'm always surprised by how many black people have Twitter accounts.  The idea of Twitter seems like something that would only appeal to white, teenage girls.